Hi everyone! Our post today is by Nayana Sattaru - who discusses the impact that racial micro-aggressions have had on her self confidence and insecurities as a Desi teenager. She talks about how important it is to we appreciate the individualistic beauty of different people, rather than centering on Western beauty standards.
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The phrase “You’re pretty - for an Indian girl,” has been permanently ingrained into my memory since the first time I have heard a man state this aloud. Despite knowing he did not mean any harm, my demeanor immediately changed from one of content to that of frustration and confusion as numerous questions flooded my mind.
Even though my thoughts desperately urged me to ask him “What do you mean by that?”, I just smiled and brushed the comment aside thinking this will be a one-time occurrence.
However, fast-forward several years and I have heard many men state this nonchalantly time and again.
While some refer to my physical appearance as “exotic”, others exclaim “you are too attractive to be Indian”. On every occasion I hear an individual mention something similar to these phrases, I sigh and shake my head in disappointment. Although I am aware that many of these commenters do not see the potential harm these remarks pose, they should understand that separating someone from their ethnic background is not something we would feel grateful and thank them for.
Instead, such comments negatively impact ethnic women and their perception of themselves and their culture.
For me, comments such as this have made it difficult to appreciate and embrace my South Indian heritage. As a first-generation Hindu Indian American, I was accustomed to the western lifestyle for the majority of my life. Growing up in the United States has limited my exposure to Indian practices and has unintentionally made me detach myself from my South Indian heritage for many years. This specific event with this man as well as the numerous others I had experienced had intensified my desire to dissociate myself from my Indian culture completely.
I am ashamed to say in the past, I had neglected my Indian background because I did not want anything to do with a culture that was viewed negatively by the American society I had grown up within.
However, this all changed in recent years as I have learned that I shouldn’t be ashamed of my Indian relations, but should help break down Western beauty standards and the racial stereotypes they unintentionally endorse within their society. Western beauty standards generally emphasize women who have light skin, curved and hairless bodies, and long legs as the definition of beauty. On the contrary, many Indian women are perceived to be “too skinny” or “too fat” and have dark skin with an immense amount of body hair. Thus, the majority of men tend to generalize Indian women as “unattractive” because they do not match today's conventional beauty standards.
It is important to understand that all women are beautiful even if they are considered “too fat” or “too dark”.
Instead of referring to women as “beautiful” because they share qualities that match the ideal Western beauty, we should learn to appreciate the individualistic beauty of different people.
It took many years for me to learn to voice my opinion, gain confidence in myself, and accept my Indian culture as a part of who I am. Although I regret not voicing my opinion the first time I had heard a man belittle the beauty of Indian women, I am proud to say this experience has helped me grow as an individual and gain respect for the beautiful culture my parents and ancestors cherished. As a South Indian woman, I encourage you all to dispose of the popular skin-lightening creams in India, cherish all body types, and most importantly, stand up for yourself. Different skin tones and body types should be
enough to refer to someone as pretty.
There is no need to mention that someone is only pretty for their specific ethnicity when referring to how attractive they are.
Although we still have a long way to go to change today's beauty standards and the acceptance of Indians within Western society, younger generations are beginning to represent India in a positive light by emphasizing its rich culture and beautiful people. I hope everyone reading this can learn to genuinely appreciate the culture they practice and not feel ashamed for doing so.
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